Almost Honest
by Six-Helix
Summary: Tony is captured Thanksgiving Day 2007, it's Feburary 2008 and he's still missing. Will they ever find him? Or has he already slipped too far from their reach? Major Character Death, not in chronological order.
1. Almost Honest

**Note**: This story is not made for the weak at heart, it wasn't originally supposed to be a Fan-Fiction but the original story was from a screenplay written for my Media and Film class specifically dealing with the way that movies such as Saw have affected our viewpoints on society. The following is gruesome yes, but there is a point to it. Some things have changed since this was originally published, and since the editing of the screenplay and this idea has been completed it should make more sense and be less of a distasteful thing as before. I apologize to those reviewers who loved the beginning but I inevitably lost soon after, I hope those reviewers return to see this new piece and can at least go through it. There is a point, I promise and I'm not trying to simply be cruel or gruesome. I love these characters as much any other fan, it is this reason that when we were told to adapt it to something that we were actively interested in I decided to do so with NCIS. I do hope those who have started with continue reading and give feedback; while the class project is complete my writing is hopefully not.

**Second Authors Note: **I apologize for the last posting. For those that read through it and found it to be parts of the original it is because I didn't update the separate parts of the story because it slipped my mind. I'm fixing it now, to reflect on what the master has. I know that it probably makes no sense to you all at the moment, but the fact is you've met the players. The next chapters will happen quickly and will tell you what happens both with evidence and plot. Like I said, this wasn't supposed to be an FF and it wasn't supposed to go this long. The original for class was not supposed to have a conclusion, so after part 5 everything is new stuff specifically for this audience. I promise it will all make sense, its posted in a specific order that means nothing at the moment but in the end will mean something.

"I own nothing NCIS, but if Bellisario doesn't want it any more I'll steal it away."

**Almost Honest**

**Part 1: Introduction to Death**

"_It's been a long time since I've had a conversation with myself, well not too long but long enough to know that I don't like them. They are too personal, too confrontational, and too emotional. I guess the first time was almost...four years ago. It was a case, undercover the normal spiel. I got too close, dumb me right? Always thinking I can be the hero, but being spotted getting too frisky with the pretty waitress worked. For the most part, I was following a marine named Sacco. Shoulda figured that the dizziness and the bad eyesight was a bad sign, and Gibbs knew something wasn't right. Hell so did I! But it was too late, and I was screwed._

_The second time, I had put myself there. Some dumb idea of mine to go undercover as an escaped convict. Yeah, chain yourself to a lethal counterpart and go trekking through the forest with no contact but what you can think of to leave for your teammates. It worked out though, sort of. Gibbs made me take a short hiatus, but pain like that lingers and it stuck with me for a while. But I got over him, I always get over them. Just lock them away and move on. _

_But the third time, I don't think I'd ever felt pain like that before until now. I got sick. Real sick, and really fast. Kate and I...oh...god Kate. We were exposed to Y-Pestis, a nasty little plague that slipped away from her and took me. Well nearly took me, but I made it, just like I made it all those other times. But now, in this place..._

…_well, I guess making it's out of the question._"

His fingers ran over the smooth button of the tape recorder and it clicked off, the drop of sweat that had been building on his brow ran down his nose and fell from its tip to splatter lifelessly to the floor he had been propped on. The hard metal of a steel toed boot found his ribs and a grunted gasp held on his lips as he curled up in pain. He had been missing for weeks, they kept him updated on how many days he had been here and it ran for a total of 79 days and 18 hours. But time meant nothing any more, not when a death sentence had been given and all he had left to do was wait. Wait for the inevitable.

_**November 22nd, 2007 Thanksgiving Morning 0700**_

It had been a short week, days had slipped away and it seemed inevitable before the short break would come where some of them didn't have to remain home alone. But Tony and Gibbs always did, they worked through the holiday, they ignored the trivial break and since neither left to go see family or whatever the others did they had their own little way of feasting.

Tony's feet were propped up against the hard metal surface of the desk, his hands crossed behind his neck and a pizza box in his lap. Across from him Gibbs eyes were slowly closing as he stared at an open file. A cold case that had never gone anywhere in twenty years, but was up for review. "Hey boss, is this the slowest day or what?"

Gibbs blinked the sleep from his eyes and raised them to gaze at Tony, "Even criminals have family DiNozzo." His eyes fell back to the file and he slipped his fingers to leaf through the next page or so. The comment hit Tony as it was supposed to and his feet swung off the desk and slammed against the floor. Both men were tired, and both had let the day get the best of them, but Tony's handling and Gibbs' handling of stress were two different things. But, they understood each other. His lips curled into a smile and he pulled himself upwards, the pizza box slipped off his lap and landed unceremoniously against the floor with a dull slap.

"Alright Boss, I get it." His hand pushed his chair in as he simultaneously grabbed his coat in one motion. "Black right?" He smirked and headed towards the elevator, pulling on the overcoat and hugging it tight to him. Even though the office was warm, the outside cold of the D.C. winter hung like a harsh reality and the thought of it didn't hit Tony the right way. He pushed the cold steel button and that soft white glow of light was his only reassurance that the elevator would come and give him a short break from this slow existence.

The beeping of the elevator made him move on instinct and he shifted inside to the eerie fake glow of fluorescent lighting. The doors closed and he got one last smile off towards Gibbs, one of those flyboy grins of his that reflected his personality to a tee. And then the soft hum of the elevator took him away and he was gone, but no one thought gone was a final word. It never held that finality that it did 72 hours later, when DiNozzo did not report back and his car and cell were found in the parking lot of NCIS door open and blood splattered on the inside handle. Only then, did it occur to anyone that gone could actually mean gone.


	2. I Was Almost Honest

**Part 2: I Was Almost Honest**

"_I can't help but to think, if I wasn't so stupid. If I had only thought before heading out...If I had only settled down when the time presented itself...Maybe then, at that moment I'd feel sorry for leaving so many behind. But I realize, now, that I leave behind my family. A family I've fought for over the years, but never really had. I leave behind my team, my partners, my life, all trivial things when I realize I left behind the one human concept we all want. I left behind love...and now as I see my end coming I can't help but regret every decision I've made along the way. Except one, I don't regret the team, I don't regret my career. My best work, my life's work is my pride and joy, was my pride and joy..."_

"The tape continues on like that for hour's boss, every day has been recorded all like this." McGee's fingers were trembling and his eyes wouldn't leave the small black recorder in his hand.

Gibb's didn't take his eyes off of the body before him; his chest rose and fell in a slow progression almost as if something was keeping him from truly breathing. McGee was still talking, but Gibbs didn't understand any of it. His eyes focused on the thin structure of the body that had belonged to the person he had handpicked from the Baltimore P.D. It had been over 80 days, and he never expected to get DiNozzo back in one piece, but this... A hand rested on his shoulder and he turned quickly to get a glimpse of Jenny.

"Gibbs..."

He shrugged her hand off and moved forward, his body crouching next to the body's left side. There wasn't much left of the body that had belonged to the person he once knew. His right leg had been severed in some rough fashion, the flesh was dead and it didn't look altogether natural. His left arm was twisted behind his back and held in place by some thick sort of leather, and burns radiated outwards across his chest to run along his back. The body was emaciated and even if they hadn't have ended him now he would have died sooner or later. Gibbs' hand reached out to rest against the cold flesh of the body's cheek. It was at that moment that the body's presence resonated within his mind, the body wasn't some victim the body was Tony. Tony. His eyes closed and he pulled his hand away, this was his fault. He had let Tony leave on Thanksgiving, he never should have let him go, it was a work day not a leaving day.

"Boss, there's a message here on the last tape...it's for you." McGee spoke sheepishly, as if he didn't like what he heard, as if he was afraid of Gibbs' reaction to it. Slowly Gibbs stood up and pulled away from the body. It was a rather rash gesture when Gibbs pulled the recorder out of McGee's hand and pressed play.

The wounded voice that echoed off of the tape was weak and pained, almost as if his dying moment had been recorded along with all of his days in this place. Gibbs' eyes closed and he just listened to a voice that had been withered with pain before finally being silenced.

"_Boss, they say they are going to be sending me to you soon. I know it's the last time I'll have the chance to speak, I know it's the last time they will hand me this tape recorder, and I know that soon the executioner is going to be arriving to send me off. I'm not afraid Boss, I always thought I was afraid of death, but it was never death that scared me. It was life. I've never had it easy; it's been quite a long time since I've admitted that I was frightened of anything. But I know that of all the people out there you will be the one to find me and you'll be the one that will understand. I never gave up Boss, they wanted me to, but I couldn't give up. It's been lonely, it's been painful, but I remembered the rules. I've been honest in all of these recordings, I know they'll lead you down the right road, and I know that you'll be able to piece these reflections together. It's not your fault Boss, you couldn't save me and I know you tried, but it just couldn't happen. I need you to do something for me, I need you to find Jeanne and tell her that I loved her. Tell her that I lied for my job, but I was almost honest. That I always wanted to be complete with her... They're coming Boss...remember me, remember that some things are meant to be spoken and some things are meant to be felt."_

The tape recorder fell silent and Gibbs handed it back to McGee without a word, he hadn't spoken in days other than to simply reply to a directed question or two. Ducky was now with the body, carefully moving it and probing it with his normal range of questioning. Gibbs had the urge to slap him, to tell him to leave the dead alone but he knew that wouldn't help in this situation. He let out a soft breath and pulled himself together, Tony had asked him to do something and he would, but first he needed to find out who did this to the body. "McGee, get the tapes to the lab and start going through them. We need to find out everything the victim knew about their attackers, also get Abby to look for anything else that might be on the tapes."

McGee looked at Gibbs for a moment, "its Tony Boss, Tony." McGee shut his eyes even while his head was shaking, the trembling had moved from his hands to his entire body and all Gibbs could do was slap him on the back of the head.

"Now, McGee!"


	3. 419

**Part 3: 419**

**Day 1: November the 23rd 2007**

There was a distinct feeling of pain in the back of Tony's mind, almost as if they hadn't just clubbed him but had actually hit inside his skull. His groan echoed softly as he shifted only to find himself restrained to the floor. His left arm was twisted behind him and tied to his body, the hyper extension of it burned and all he could think of was that he'd felt the same feeling each time he took a bad tackle in football. He blinked a few times, trying to adjust to the lack of light in this room, and trying to figure out exactly what kind of condition he was in. There was only a little glimmer of light when the bulb above him flickered in and out of power, and it was enough to make him realize that he was in one of the worst situations he could have found himself in. He let out a sigh and shifted again.

The room was no bigger than a cell, a thing which he had become accommodated to when Chip framed him for murder, it was damp and there was a thin trickle of water dripping from the boarded up vent on the right wall. The scent of mold and bleach out did any other scents that could have been registered at that moment, but that didn't last long as the metal sliding door scratched into life against the concrete floor. The scent of death flowed into to the room along with three men Tony could have sworn were familiar in some way.

"You speak in here, understand?" The language was a broken mix between Turkish and what Tony could have sworn sounded like German, neither of which made any sense to his cluttered mind but he shifted anyway in order to see what they wanted him to speak into. His eyes landed on a small black tape recorder, he didn't like this idea, he'd seen what that murderer Jigsaw could do with a tape recorder in the Saw series, why on earth would he want to record that sort of thing? Even when they shoved it into his hands he couldn't think of a good reason to record his thoughts in there that is until the grabbed his left arm and pulled it higher towards his neck.

The scream echoed dully in the room, almost lifelessly as he heard his shoulder crack and then pop out of place. His breathing intensified and he couldn't focus on what was around him anymore, everything blurred except that damn tape recorder in his hand. He shifted again, this time so that his arm and back were against the wall. Pain still radiated outwards, but he was resilient yet and wanted to get up and fight them, if it weren't for the whole trapped thing going on.

"What do you want me to say?" The one who had dislocated his shoulder moved forward to grab it and pull until Tony contorted in pain and slid to the floor.

"You speak in here." They didn't have a specific idea for him to record and that made this something other than ransom, something more than a kidnapping. He let out a rapid breath before clicking the recorder on.

"_I saw this movie once; I think it was some cop thing, something about a white cop gone crazy after his wife's murder and an older black cop that becomes his partner as he sets out to retire. There is a line that applies to this situation I guess, "_I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves._" I can agree with that, especially now. I don't know what's going on, I don't even know who or what took me. All I know is that they gave me this tape recorder, and I can only assume it's to say my last words into it, so if that's true why do they look so eager for me to talk? I guess it's time for me to say my goodbyes? I suppose it's time to admit that I have problems, time to let go of all the regrets I may have had but this doesn't feel final this feels like a beginning, like something major is going to happen and I have to be the witness in order to share this story. I can tell you this; they are an interesting bunch these people. Sort of Mr. Joshua-esk but there is some sort of Turkish thing going on, no mix that I think I could have pissed off, but with the years I've had of being able to piss people off you never know. I know that this arm of mine hurts; I know that they want whatever they want and that I have to fight to make sure they don't kill me quickly. This is going to be a long journey home, but I am holding onto the thought that I'll be going home after this. No matter which way I get there, home is the only thing I have to hope for unless I can figure this out for you." _

**NCIS: Abby's Lab February 20th, 2008**

McGee let out a soft sound as he exhaled at the close of Tony's first dialogue, it wasn't very long and the tape had much more on it but even from the beginning hearing that Tony didn't expect to come to a good ending made McGee think about what he most have gone through. There was only a few things they knew for certain, that the body was Tony's, that he had died an incredibly painful death, and that he was in the end the strongest person that could have gone through this on the team. McGee typed in the quote that Tony used and came up with 1987's Lethal Weapon, dug a little deeper and decided he'd pull up the movie from the local rental store so that he could run through the movie and find out what Tony had meant. His hands were still trembling, and the fact that Abby was lurking in the far room staying far away from the many tapes and other devices that they had brought back from the crime scene while McGee worked on them wasn't helping any.

The air lock door whooshed open and Gibbs entered right as McGee was starting the next part of the tape.

"_They've left me with this tape recorder; I guess they want me to make some sort of record Boss. I don't really understand it; they beat me into recording this stuff and then leave me with it? Right, well before they get back I guess I need to let you guys know what kind of condition I'm in…"_ McGee silenced the tape as he stared at Gibbs.

"Boss?"

"I got something for you to look at McGee, the LEO's that found the warehouse passed along this box of recorded 911 tapes. I want them analyzed, the voice is Tony's but it's not as weak as the last recording. It's stronger, as if they recorded his pleas for help before they killed him and used them in order to make us think that he was still alive."

"Alright Boss, I'll get right on it." McGee scurried over to grab the recordings and then moved back to click on the tape once more.

"…_My left arm is severely dislocated; they've strapped it to my back so they can control me easier. I think they know some of my history because it was an injury I had a lot in college. I think I might have a concussion, my head is ringing a bit still and something doesn't feel right. I don't even remember how they got me here. I remember going out to the car, and wanting some more pizza but I don't remember anything else. I'm sorry Boss, I should have figured…" _

McGee's hand trembled when Gibbs' finger pressed the pause button, the rock hard face that they had come to expect with Gibbs these last few months sent a shiver down McGee's spine. He hadn't expected Gibbs to move, or to even stop the tape. He didn't know what he had expected but it wasn't that, he let out a shaky breath before looking up to Gibbs, "B-B-Boss? Is everything alright?"

"No McGee, nothing is alright. Two agents are dead and all we have to account for one of their deaths is to listen to his voice over a series of 80 days recounting all the pain and suffering he endured. Nothing is alright, it will never be alright."

"I know Boss, it's just…he's got to have something here that can help us. Something that can help us figure out what happened to him, who took him and why. Something, Tony never did anything without a purpose, even his most childish antics had something to do with something. I refuse to believe he died without a purpose. These tapes are just the only thing he could do to help us figure it all out."

"And what about Ziva, McGee? What about her? What did her death prove?"

"Boss, I can't answer that, she died…"

**Day 6: November 28th 2007**

"Gibbs, this tape came in the mail. It's addressed to 'the teammates of DiNozzo.'" McGee handed over the envelope to Gibbs only to have it shoved back.

"Open it McGee!" Gibbs had become increasingly rougher over the last six days, he'd become meaner and nastier and expected results immediately. But, the team understood it, they had no leads since they found Tony's car. Nothing to indicate what could have happened after the initial abduction and that was frightening especially since it was Tony. McGee moved over to his computer, messing around with it for a moment before the tape began to play over his speakers.

"_Boss, I'm recording this tape in a great deal of pain. My captors are forcing me to say these things, and wish me to allow you that much knowledge. I am relatively fine, they are not kind but they are not on the verge of POW cruel. They will not tell me what they want from me, but they wanted you to know that I am in relatively good health and that you will be hearing from me periodically. GAH!" _

The tape went silent other than the harsh breathing of Tony and a few lifeless flesh against flesh sounds; there was the sound of a guttural cry before sound once more resurfaced on the tape. His tone was somber and he sounded defeated already, but there was an inkling of pain in his vocals. His voice cracked and he couldn't stay within his normal range.

"_They say that they…don't want to kill me…but they are…willing to…Boss…I don't know…what's going on here…" _The tape ended and Gibbs' fist slammed into the top of his desk as he pushed his chair backwards.

"We need to find him now! Get the letter and tape down to Abby, get her to do whatever she needs to do to find out where it came from. Tell me as soon as you know!" His voice was a harsh yell and his face turned almost as red as the tie that McGee was wearing at the time.

**Day 7: November 29th 2007 14:09 Abby's Lab**

"Gibbs, I enhanced the tape and muted the voices enough for you to hear what's going on in the background. If you listen carefully, there are two distinct voices directing Tony what to say." Abby clicked play and the first sounds heard came from some sort of whistle.

"Is that a train?"

"Yes, I've already gotten the list of all trains that ran through the city in the last seven days. Until I have more things to narrow them down I have over 174 different locations that you could check, and those don't include the areas that overlap multiple days." The tape continued and there were some movement sounds, like feet shuffling before some sort of German dialect sounded softly, almost like a whisper from the background.

"_You are injured not. Healthy. Say here you healthy."_

The accent was thick and broken, Gibbs thought that this person knew only enough English to get the job done and that's why they hired him. There was some more movement and then Tony's scream echoed loudly across the speakers. Abby jumped and curled against Gibbs' chest, his arms slid over her but he listened intently to the new voice that sounded more Turkish, maybe Armenian that was now talking to Tony.

"_Speak what we say, or die now coward. You going to tell them that you pissed yourself? Or are you going to tell them what they need to hear. Make a decision." _

Tony's gasp echoed across the speakers and Abby pulled tighter to Gibbs. He let out a breath and kissed the top of her head gently.

"Easy Abs, we're going to get him back."

"But how Gibbs? He sounds bad, he sounds hurt. I don't want him to suffer Gibbs, he doesn't deserve to suffer." Abby's head shook and she pulled away from him. "I was able to trace the letter back to the central distributing postal office; the bad thing is it processes over a million letters a day. There's no chance of getting further than that Gibbs. I'm sorry."

"Don't be; keep working on figuring out where he is Abs. We need to find him, we have to."

The door whooshed open once more, this time Agent David entered with a box full of what looked like notebooks. "Gibbs, these just arrived in the mail. They are notebooks that belong to Tony and a few other things that were missing from his apartment."

"They've been in his apartment?"

"It would appear so, Abby." Ziva had been quite the last few days, going about her work in her normal manner but staying as far away from Tony's desk as possible. It was hurting everyone, this whole thing, but Ziva seemed to be in far more pain than the others, or at least she showed more.

"David, you and I are going back to his apartment to see what we can find. Abby go through these and see what you can figure out. See if there is some connection to them and tell me when you're done."

**December 1st 16:52 Tony's Apartment**

The clerk at the desk was rather snippy about allowing Gibbs and Ziva to enter Tony's apartment, even after they said there was a federal investigation going on. If Ziva hadn't felt that Gibbs would kill the man and walk on she would have let him deal with it, instead as he talked with the clerk she was able to snatch the key from the desk in front of him. (Where he placed it upon their initial questioning.) Tony lived in a fourth floor suite, located at the rear of the hall and completely isolated from the other suites due to a laundry room and a small gallery that the condo allowed to stay put even after they had problems with teenage vandals years before.

Ziva moved down the hall casually, her hand rested on her gun but she hadn't unclipped it yet and she had no need to at the moment. Everything seemed calm and they were too far away from the door to get worried. Gibbs moved before her and signaled for her to draw her gun as the rounded the corner in breaching mode. They were prepared, they had to be, and something was happening that no one really understood. It was just before Gibbs got to the door that his phone went off, Abby was calling him to tell him she'd found something, but it was a distraction none the less. Gibbs took his eyes off the door long enough for it to swing open and someone to move to clip his forehead with the barrel of their gun. Gibbs collapsed like a ton of bricks before Ziva opened fire on the man that had attacked her boss.

Ziva hit him in his right shoulder, wounded the man turned to start running down the hall, running towards her he made sure to give Gibbs a good kick in the back. His body flopped over and Ziva moved to shoot the man coming towards her. Something metal landed in her lower back and she let out a strangled yelp before her air was cut off. An arm wrapped around her neck and a knife plunged into her back to pierce her left lung. Air escaped into her chest cavity and she found she couldn't breathe nor scream out, the person who held her throat lowered her to the ground and rolled her over. His eyes locked onto her's long enough so that she could have remembered his face if she survived this. The other man had now joined him and Ziva felt panicked for the first time in years. The one who had stabbed her crouched down so that his face was next to her's.

"Pity you had to betray your own. You know, I'm going to give you the knowledge that all of this is your fault before I kill you. You get to die with the guilt that you've killed your partner. You never should have gone against your family Ziva David, because family always has a way of coming back to haunt you."

When the clerk realized what had happened he called the local police to pursue the man and woman, he assumed had already broken into the apartment and raided it. When the cops got there he led them to the fourth floor. When they arrived Ziva was already gone, her blood had seeped into the carpet and she was cold. Gibbs was still unconscious, he was rushed to the hospital she was slowly taken to the morgue.


	4. Goodbye

**Part 4: Goodbye**

"_They said they want me to live, I don't believe them Boss; I don't think they intend on ever letting me go. They hurt me yesterday, fairly bad. I haven't eaten in days...I don't even remember what food really tastes like, usually they throw me half green rolls and some soured meat. I know you will hate hearing this whenever they allow you to have it but it's true, it won't matter. I'm sorry Boss; you trained me better than this, better than to give up without fighting but it's been over two weeks. If you knew where I was, you'd be here by now and I don't think they are willing to give you any help. I heard them talking about Ziva…they said they killed one of the agents. If it's her, I'm sorry that I led her there. She didn't…"_

McGee closed his eyes, his hand raised to wipe away a tear with the cuff of his sleeve before he let out a breath. It was hard work listening to these tapes, especially listening to his friend and colleague giving up on himself so early in the abduction. He sighed softly before two hands slid down his shoulders, "It's hard to hear him sound so broken McGee."

"Yeah…I just…it's like he's telling me all these things and I just can't understand them. And the fact that he is cut off…"

"Was McGee, the fact that he was cut off."

"Boss, I…"

"Gibbs!" Abby ran across the room and leapt into his arms; she snuggled against his warm body and buried her head in his shoulder.

"It's alright McGee, it's hard. I'll take over for a bit, both of you have been working none stop." McGee was hesitant at first but nodded gently before getting out of the chair. He waited for Abby to untangle herself from Gibbs before the two of them left to get a bite to eat. Gibbs moved over to the work area and lowered into the stool before clicking the play button on computer so that the tape resumed where it had left off.

"…_deserve that. She was a good person, she was a great partner. Boss, if you're listening and she really isn't dead don't tell her I said that. She'd never believe it anyway and some things aren't needed to be said between partners."_

Gibbs smiled for the first time since Thanksgiving; he knew and understood exactly what Tony had meant. But the smile quickly faded as he realized that Tony had no idea what was going on other than that he was told to record every moment on these tapes. The tape continued but there was silence for a while before the soft whispering hush of Tony's voice echoed in the lab.

"_Boss…boss, listen to me please. I know that something has gone wrong. They aren't happy, they are becoming more violent and today…today I felt the first real pains of torture. They broke my leg Boss…they wanted me to tell them something, something I can't even remember now but I know I didn't. I pray I didn't… They were asking about…something…some sort of… GAH! Why can't I remember? Something isn't right Boss, something doesn't feel right. I think they did something to me. God, I hope you are listening to this alone, I hope you understand…"_

"I do Tony, I understand."

"_I knew you'd be the one that would Boss; I knew you'd do whatever you could to find me. I'm just sorry that I wasn't as strong as you trained me to be. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough to live by your code…"_

"I never had a code Tony; I just wanted to make you…"

"…_better. I know that's all you ever wanted of me was for me to be better than what I was. You saw the man beneath the childish act; you saw the hurt and the pain when no one else even bothered. What hurts is that in the end I did what I've always done, I…"_

"You never failed DiNozzo, you never failed anyone. They failed you. IT was the one damn concept I drilled into your head for six years! Why could you never figure it out?!"

"_I know you're mad Boss…"_

"I'm not mad DiNozzo, I'm broken, and I'm lost…"

"_You'll find your way, you'll get it back Boss. There will be some other agent that needs you the way I needed you. You'll get to have…"_

"I'll never get to have another son Tony; you were the son that I always wanted…"

"Gibbs…"

"Tony…"

"No Gibbs, its Abby…Gibbs I…"

"Sorry Abs, I was…"

"Saying goodbye, I know…"

**Day 14: December 7th, 2007 Ziva David's Funeral**

"_They said they watched you put her in the ground today. They said that you were sad; they said that you were crying. I can't believe you were crying you've never been a crier. You've always been the strong one. Don't lose your strength now, Ziva wouldn't appreciate it and I can't afford to think of it like that. You didn't cry at Kate's funeral, why cry now? Stay strong, I know you'll come through in the end. You'll get me home; you never leave a man behind…"_

A small gathering of people stood graveside, the first day in two weeks that they had taken a break from the investigation in order to do something that wasn't work. It was a funeral, no matter how close it came to be forced, it was never work. Gibbs stood with his arms wrapped around Abby, Ducky was behind him with his eyes forward and unblinking stare going out into the distance, McGee stood off to the left side next to the director. And there was a small group of family and friends of Ziva David that no one knew she ever had.

The rabbi spoke softly; his voice never echoed in the ears of what remained of the NCIS team, they only entered to leave again when they exhaled their breath. Gibbs hadn't spoken since he'd been released from the hospital three days ago. He'd been unconscious for a bit, but the kick to his spine had bruised it and left him unable to move for a short time. He had seen this as a loss in grunt work, a loss in the chance that they'd get to Tony alive. They'd already narrowed the 147 possible warehouses down to 84 and now they were trying to narrow it down further since they'd gotten another package.

"_I've never really believed in anything, never needed to I guess. Everything I knew early in life was false; it'd always end up being a lie so I never expected to ever find my place. Well, it was with you all that I found my place, among the halls of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service working around the clock for pennies that generally came with outrageous hospital bills. It was with you, Boss; McGee, Ziva, Kate, Ducky, and Abby that I realized that is how it felt to be loved. To believe in something that you couldn't see, because of that I believe I so much more. Life changes…with the changes we realize that we lose people along the way. That they leave our lives with theirs unfinished…"_

"Unfinished lives are always sad to see end, but their lesson to us remains as one of the most precious gifts our lord has to offer…" The rabbi's words hit Gibbs ears long enough for him to hear them and place them in Tony's familiar tone. He let out a soft sigh and lowered his head to rest against Abby's cheek gently as he held her.

"_If Ziva is really gone, and this message reaches you while you are feeling all these things I hope you know that I'm there with you. I'm standing next to you and sending her off, I'm saying goodbye in my own way and holding your hands to make sure that it doesn't hurt too bad. I pray that they are lying, that she isn't really dead, that I really will be there when she goes and that I will really have said these things to her before then. If not…then know that if I leave this world before you do I will walk with her and wait with her until the rest of our family joins us many years later. And I mean many years; you can't die on me, not yet. You have to live; you have to live for the two of us so that we can see something come of what we've done."_


	5. New Hope

**Part 5: New Hope**

"_I just keep having this conversation with myself, like someone else is going to speak up and say "HEY, DiNozzo! Wake UP!" But when it doesn't happen, and I'm still in this place feeling this pain and this emptiness all I can do is go back, to look back at what I've brought to the table. I've been thinking a lot about that last night that last time I was with you, Boss. It wasn't much of anything, nothing different but yet there was something different. I had crashed on your couch the night before, remember? You said that I wasn't in any shape to go home, I never am around the holidays and I know you're never in any shape to be alone, so I took the offer. I remember lying on your couch, hearing you grind away at your boat and thinking that this is where I belonged. Not on your couch, but there with you, with the team. I've been thinking of what I could have lately, Jeanne made me think a lot. She wanted me to choose Boss, I never told you but she did. The case afterwards, the one with the baby, she forced me to choose her or you all. I couldn't stay with her. I couldn't risk losing my family, and that's really how I see you guys. McGeek is like a little brother, Abs is like my sister, you and the Director are like the overseeing parents, and Ziva…well she's extended family. I made my choice then, but I've always thought that I wanted something else. That I wanted more, but you know…if that was my one chance at what I want then I'm okay with my decision. I can't separate what I want from my family, you all come together as a package and whoever, if ever, I settle down with will have to know this. Not that I see a big chance of settling down after this. I don't even know how long it's been since I was taken how long I've been here. Days run together, I remember distinctly that 1,923 drops ago the sun was up because I've taken the time to count them. I think it is dark outside now, I think it is dark all the time now but it doesn't matter anymore Boss. What matters is that you all find all of this in the end that these tapes stand as I don't know my last gift to you guys, to my family. I think it is Christmas time, snow is outside the window and…"_

McGee's tired eyes blinked gently as he listened to the tape, he stretched but when the mention of snow was made he leapt from his seat. It was relatively warm around them this holiday season, and they hadn't had any snow yet. His fingers moved rapidly and he started to trace weather patterns and pulling up topographic maps. Abs looked at him quizzically from her office, her body moved slowly for the first time since Tony's disappearance really. She moved out and towards Tim, moving to lean against the desk and gaze over his shoulder. The tape was paused and she simply reached over to press the triangle, the tapes they'd been reviewing lately hadn't been as hurt as the first few. She was getting used to his voice, getting used to this sort of contact with her Tony.

"Tim…what is it? He's just going on about how he misses snow…" Abs gazed at him, she felt bad for him. Since Ziva, Gibbs had been riding Tim extra hard and even then Gibbs wasn't really speaking to anyone. It was like someone had come in and ripped apart their family.

"Tony, he mentioned that there was snow outside of his window…" McGee didn't stop typing he just kept going, Abs' eyes flitted to the window and she gazed out at the soft blue gray sky and sighed.

"Tim, stop." McGee just kept typing, kept going like there was no tomorrow like there was something else that could be done. Abs' hand slid over his shoulder and her palm moved to cup her cheek. "Tim…look at me." McGee's fingers slowed until all he could do was lean into her and, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. All of them were like this, Gibbs was the one pulling away but all of them were like this on the inside. They'd lost Ziva, they were barely holding onto Tony and for what? She let out a breath and flushed her cheek to the top of his head. She was losing faith, losing hope in all of it.

"…_Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen *anything* to make me believe that there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything. 'Cause no mystical energy field controls *my* destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.."_

Abs shot up quickly, her ears hearing Tony's voice and her mind registering it. "A NEW HOPE!" Abby was shouting and running around the lab gathering equipment and evidence_. _Tim watched her completely and totally lost as to what she was doing, he replayed the last thing Tony had said and then it hit him, the Force…Star Wars! He grinned to himself and started going back through the tape.

"…_they underestimated me today; they underestimated my resourcefulness and my willingness to fight. I paid for it, but not as much as the Armenian. He came to me to try and make me talk, asking me questions about some case that I've never heard of, he spoke in his native language when he talked about it as if I was supposed to know what he was talking about. When he got angry with me he came to twist my arm again, literally of course. He didn't notice I'd slipped from the leather, he didn't notice and he didn't see that I'd gathered the metal from its buckle. I took out an eye, or at least I'm pretty sure that's where the buckle prong landed. I just stabbed blindly until he was able to wrap his fingers around my shoulder and squeeze. He got me down and they started in with the kicking…"_

"Did he just describe an injury?" The silver haired fox had been listening from the doorway, and had spoken his first words since the funeral. Tim and Abby turned to look at him, Abby nodded eagerly and began to pull files up from the research they'd been doing. They didn't have much to go on, but Gibbs' had said he didn't think this was mutually exclusive and thought it was personal.


	6. Frozen

**Part 6: Frozen**

"_How do we move on? Easy, we just have to be free from this entire thing, Boss. I may not be able to wake up on your couch again, I may not be able to wrap my arms around Abby and give her a hug when something is bothering her, but I can give you all piece of mind. I can give all of you all something more in death than in life. I guess I should just confess, just let out everything I have to say at one time to let it go, to let all of you all go…"_

Ducky's fingers smoothed over the course flesh of the body he was working on, the body of Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. His eyes were soft, considering the body with a familiar sort of loving regard. The scalpel rested in his hand, blade hovering above the body's chest at the proper angle for the beginning of the Y cut and yet…he couldn't find it in him to press the blade to the flesh beneath. His eyes slid closed and he pushed the blade against the flesh, holding onto one last thought as he let the blade slip beneath the membranes of flesh and begin to tear away the last remaining dignity of the young man he had cared for so much.

"Anthony, you've made it both very hard and easy for us. Your last words have been so fascinating; I can't help but wonder if you'd do everything you said."

"…_I can only imagine what Ducky will say, what he'll see when he dissects my organs one by one taking the careful time to meticulously measure and catalog each and everyone. With precision will he cut into my chest and find nothing but an empty vessel? Or will he hesitate and wait to draw the tools to my body? I wonder this but will never know the answer, I'll never find out what exactly Duck did to me, but I know he'll take care of me. I know he'll be gentle, a soft and kind hand after all this pain, and I know that I will no longer have to worry about the tenderness of my muscles or the weakness I feel in my chest where my heart is supposed to be…"_

"Dear Anthony, why on earth did you let yourself take this abuse? It makes little sense to me that you lasted this long; though it is obvious you gave up some time ago. You appear to have been gone from us for weeks, maybe a month even. It doesn't make sense, you had incentive to let go early on when you were pained like this…why hold on? Did someone offer you hope? Did one of them promise you something?"

"He can't hear you Duck." Gibbs empty blue eyes rested on his friend and carefully avoided the body of his former agent, his shoulders were tightly wound to his body and he looked as if he'd been getting little to no sleep. He was wearing the same clothes he'd been wearing for three days; his white oxford was stained from a combination of sweat, blood, and tears. Ducky knew this to mean that he'd had a fight with something, more than likely himself judging by the way he moved.

"Ah, yes, Jethro, I know he can't, but we can still hear him so it just seems right to keep the conversation going." Ducky's fingers tensed across the scalpel as he removed it from the bottom of the Y cut.

"_Please don't tell me we've already had this conversation Ducky, keep it new. Let me be at peace with the words that you give to all the other fallen, give me words that will keep everything light. Joke if you can, if they will let you…"_

"It is a one sided conversation Duck, and it is one that I'm beginning to grow tired of."

"I know Jethro, I can see it in your eyes that you're done. How close is the case?"

"Close enough to let Scapino finish it, I just wanted to be with…"

"I understand." Ducky's fingers gripped his visor and he pulled it down before leaning over the body, Gibbs stood off to the side leaning against one of the other tables so he could see without really seeing.


	7. Funhouse

**Part 7: Funhouse**

"_I've always been the one to laugh the loudest, I've always been the one that never wants to be alone, I've always been the one that you can call when you need someone, and yet in the end other than the most recent cell mate of mine I'm utterly alone…"_

"Cell mate, who was your cell mate DiNozzo?" It was the first time Gibbs had perked up since Ziva, granted it was the first tape they'd had in two weeks…still it had made him pop up in interest.

"_I think I'll call him Ralph, he sort of looks like a Ralph. He's got the brownest hair I've seen, and he's got patches of gray. Kind of reminds me of you Boss, he's got a great urge to just antagonize me. Granted he isn't so good at the slaps, he definitely takes care of himself. He's large for his kind, round at the waist and a little long in the rear but he's pretty much your average everyday Norwegian Rat. Guess you were thinking of something else huh Boss?"_

"Damn it Tony!" Gibbs' fists slammed against the metal working table in Abby's lab, causing the whoosh of the automatic doors to sound and Abby to move to his side. DiNozzo was continuing to describe Ralph with precision and loneliness, using personification to relate to each of them in this rat. Abby's hands fell on Gibbs shoulders, gripping them gently and refusing to let go.

"Trust him Gibbs, trust him to not give up."

"Abs, he already has. Listen to him; he's given up on himself which means he's given up on me."

"You mean us."

"No…I mean me, it is past the point of no return. He's been gone almost a month, he's been tortured and starved and what can I do? Listen to his voice and pray he's not dead already? I can't find him Abs, I'm not good enough…"

"Hush. Don't you dare say another word Gibbs, everyone here knows you are doing everything you can. None of us, Tony included, can expect the world out of you. You're super Gibbs, but you aren't invincible we all know that, Tony knows that."

"But Abs…he counted on me to keep him safe, he expected me to find him by now, he trusted in my abilities and what do I have to show for it? What do I have to honor him with?"

"Love, you have love to honor him with and you have your undying resolve to find him no matter what. You'll find him Gibbs, you always get your man and you never leave anyone behind either. You'll find him, no matter how long it takes you."

"…_have you ever felt this way Boss? So empty on the inside yet longing for something? I don't know what it really is, I know that I just keep staring at the door waiting on someone to open it that will let me go, that will release me from this room. I know I keep wanting to feel a hand that isn't full of force or holding some instrument of torture against my flesh, to know that it is possible to be human again. I don't even feel real anymore, they leave me alone for the most part. I sort of think they've forgotten about me but you know…I think it is worse. I think I'm starting to yearn for their presence just so I don't have to wish for a new day anymore. Why won't they just finish it? I'm not even real anymore, I'm not human, I'm not…"_


	8. Cascade

**Part 8: Cascade**

"…_I've had my chances, and you know what I keep getting thrown off this bull. I'm on the floor, and no one here wants me to get up. I don't feel well anymore, actually I'm not even sure if this if even feeling…I'm just tired all the time now Boss. I just…I feel like it is time to take a long nap and not wake up for some span of time…"_

"From what I've discovered while going through the autopsy it appears that Anthony was starved to death in the end, his arm was his most intense injury to tell the truth."

"What about the leg, Ducky?" McGee popped in with his typical quizzical face.

"And the burns?" Jenny piped in this time; Gibbs just sat there seemingly distant from the conversation.

"Well the burns were not quite as severe, they were mostly first degree burns and while extensive seemed to be caused by caustic chemicals. More than likely one of his torturers preferred bleach from what Ms. Scuito has gathered for us. As for the leg…"

"Post mortem." Gibbs mumbled slightly, his eyes still staring off into nowhere. He was cracked, much like a broken piece of glass after it has been thrown into the wall repeatedly. His shoulders were brought up and he rested his head against the table, he felt sick.

"Yes actually, very astute Jethro. It appears that the leg was severed post mortem, and it seems to be more of a break than a surgical severing. Because of this I thought back to a pretty little JAG officer…"

"Ducky!" Jenny, McGee, and Abby all spoke up.

"…yes well as I was saying I took a closer look at Anthony and I can say that he's been frozen and then thawed out at least twice, based on the freezer bone on the soft tissue. I assume he's been dead around two months. Which means…"

"He was dead shortly after Ziva."

"Yes within two to three weeks, no more than a month I'm assuming."

"_It is ironic, what all this has done to me. You'd think I'd be angry, you'd think I'd be resentful but actually…I am thankful. I know that I'll meet you there, wherever there is in the end. I'm not even scared, I'm not broken or shattered, and I just am at peace. It probably won't make any sense now, or in the future but I've decided what I need to do and I know you aren't going to like it Boss, but you'll understand in the end. I hope you can forgive me and embrace these mistakes, but I can't trade this not for anything now."_


	9. Long Hot Night

**Part Nine: Long Hot Night**

"_I have nothing to hide, the initial force of my testimony alone can bring you all to the end you must attain from these trials you've been forced to face alone. I suppose I could say that my life will stand for something, that it will alter the choices made by law enforcement when it comes to such crimes, but I honestly believe it would be a lie to do so. When I breathe my last breath only a small amount of people will feel sympathy or loss from my death, the rest will continue in their day to day musings and never know the existence of Anthony DiNozzo existed or wish to know that it did. It doesn't matter that I was disowned by a wealthy family, it doesn't matter that until Gibbs found me I had never been in a job too long. What matters? I suppose it matters that I lived, that I loved sometimes entirely too much and too fickle, that I had a family in the end. I found in the absence of any real family, people who meant more to me and were there more for me. I suppose you could say that the first day in NCIS was the moment that changed my life."_

"I was brought onto the case of Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo a few days after his disappearance. Much against Gibbs' will, I came in to take over his in house business. I seem to be the one that always takes away Gibbs' personal cases, and I suppose you could say in my time I've taken a lot more than cases. I should know by now that Gibbs' gut is far more powerful than orders, but I didn't listen to him when he said there would hell to pay for taking this case." Tobias Fornell, Agent to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, folded his leg across the other as he stared down a young investigator.

"So, you're saying that Agent Gibbs seemed to know where this was going?"

"Know? Not in the slightest, I like to think of his gut like a female's intuition. Imagine yourself being a young woman walking home alone after a long day of work, you turn a corner and feel something out of the ordinary. Do you ignore it? If you do you might end up bound, tortured, and raped left for dead in a gutter. That is how Gibbs' gut works, if you ignore it you lose end of story." Tobias couldn't help but crack a smile; he would never in his life mention that tidbit of information to Gibbs. It could, after all, be the last thing he'd say to the man.

"Very well, Agent Fornell. I don't have any more questions, so I'm going to let you go for now. On your way out please send in Special Agent Gibbs." Tobias nodded, his legs unfolding before pushing himself up. He stopped; hand on the door before looking back at the agent.

"I know you may never understand all of this Stephan, but at least know that none of us understood it in the beginning either."

"Agent Fornell, I don't think I want to understand any of it because at the end of the day two great agents lost their life for what?"

"For something that none of us can comprehend, but can appreciate. Anthony's death was useless, meaningless to the whole story but separately it accomplished exactly what the subject attempted to accomplish for themselves. In the end, both sets of families were hurt equally. I suppose that it is poetic in a way, cruel in another."

"I suppose so Agent Fornell, but it doesn't change the fact that two people lost their lives when the head of their team knew that this risk was imminent."

"Gibbs did what he could to protect them Patterson, he knew something was going to happen eventually but what and how long it would take wasn't known. You can't hold him accountable for these deaths; it just isn't something that fits."

"On the contrary Agent Fornell, I can hold him accountable, even if by law he isn't. I can plant the seed of doubt in his mind so deep that no tool can pull it out. He is a weak man Tobias, weakened by the fact that he knows he's brought these deaths upon himself. And now, when he comes in here I'll use that weakness to break him…."

"Break? That is the funniest piece of information I've heard from an agent in years Stephan, you want to break Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs? He wrote the book on interrogation techniques, interrogated hundreds of people in Gitmo under the radar and off the books. And you believe you can break him?" Fornell's hand found the door frame, and he exited without another word.

Their eyes met for a moment and Tobias could register what Stephan had meant, Gibbs looked soft. The sort of softness that comes out of being overworked, his eyes were sunken back and dark circles marked them but also he'd lost coloring in the last months. He was pale; sickly even, and there was the distinct absence of about ten pounds. Tobias couldn't gold that gaze too long; it was painful even between two old friends. But Gibbs wasn't the only one sitting out there that held that gaze; Dr. Donald Mallard, Abigal Scuito, and Timothy McGee all held the same look but he did not know them like he knew Jethro.

Gibbs stood, passing inside the interrogation room and taking his seat without a word. Anderson switched on the tape recorder and Tony's voice echoed in the little room:

"_I have nothing to hide, the initial force of my testimony alone can bring you all to the end you must attain from these trials you've been forced to face alone. I suppose I could say that my life will stand for something, that it will alter the choices made by law enforcement when it comes to such crimes, but I honestly believe it would be a lie to do so. When I breathe my last breath only a small amount of people will feel sympathy or loss from my death, the rest will continue in their day to day musings and never know the existence of Anthony DiNozzo existed or wish to know that it did. It doesn't matter that I was disowned by a wealthy family, it doesn't matter that until Gibbs found me I had never been in a job too long. What matters? I suppose it matters that I lived, that I loved sometimes entirely too much and too fickle, that I had a family in the end. I found in the absence of any real family, people who meant more to me and were there more for me. I suppose you could say that the first day in NCIS was the moment that changed my life."_

"What does he mean Agent Gibbs? You, who have studied these tapes more than any other, surely know what he meant by his "testimony." Blue eyes, empty and beaten narrowed on Anderson, there was a fire building behind them and in the few seconds that it took Gibbs to swallow it had blazed up to its full potential.

"You want to know what Agent DiNozzo meant. Why do you ask? You already made an assumption on it; you've already made up your mind. So why should I tell you want our investigation turned up, when you believe we're more of the murderer than they were. You don't need to know that he was giving us a clue, that half of those things are based off of a philosopher's quote. Or that he was talking about a former case, one that his murderer was involved in." Gibbs raised himself, his hands slamming down onto the table top with the full force of his words. His body trembled, and those tired empty eyes had never been so full or so fiery. Anderson's body retracted from the table so quickly that the chair he was in gave out and he collapsed in it onto the floor.

"Agent G-g-g-gibbs…stand down…" Anderson mumbled as he tried for the gun at his belt. Gibbs' face twisted into a snarl, his fingers gripping the table as the anger in him built. He used it to channel the force into his hands, pulling the table up and over and tossed it at the fallen agent. Anderson let out a yelp and found what he'd searched for, the weapon was shaking but it discharged with a faint bark.

The sound of the gun discharge made Tobias turn, his face grave as he ran down the hall. McGee had already opened the door, and was leaning on one knee next to Gibbs. Anderson was trying to scramble out from under the fallen table but it wasn't working too well. Tobias twisted back to look at McGee, the young man's hands smoothed over Gibbs' neck and he was mumbling something to him.

McGee's head twisted, his face was sullen and there was blood on his hands. Gibbs' eyes were closed, head off to the side but he was still breathing. When Tobias took a knee next to him, his hands found the wound in his gut easily. Fingers pushed hard, harder when Gibbs didn't rouse the first time.

"Damn it Tobias, can't you just let me rest?"

"No, not when you look dead, Jethro. Seems like you got a little out of hand on Agent Anderson here, you know that doesn't look great on a record."

Gibbs laughed before the pain flared in his stomach, he coughed, hand clasping over Tobias' own hand. Blood spilled between their fingers and the tired look that had registered in the eyes of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs had never looked so exhausted. Minutes that consisted of forced palms against the bloody spot in his abdomen slowed down the flow of blood a bit, but the tape recorder played on in the background as if nothing had changed in the room.

The sound of wheels on linoleum registered to their ears just like the sound of the blaring siren, but they weren't listening to all of that they were listening to the voice emanating from the tape recorder. He let out a shaky breath before two hands fell on either side of him, McGee and Fornell were working on moving him as EMS arrived.

"…_my first day at NCIS was a rough one; we received a call about a dead MC PO. Guess I should break that down for you, Master Chief Petty Officer. He was spread out over five miles, hit by a train, really nasty business for anybody to look at. Duck was putting pieces back together for weeks; I guess that's when you could say that I met Kaylen. She wasn't anything special, beat cop for Metro, but she had something. She wasn't curvy or gorgeous; I don't even know what I was attracted to. Maybe it was the name, or the way she handled her gun, she knew how to knock you around with it." _There was a quiet laugh_, "I first met her while looking for his pieces, I was going through the brush and all of a sudden I heard a twig snap. The next few seconds comprised of me getting pistol whipped. I don't even know if Gibbs knew why I was so long in the woods, I know I got chewed out for being a wreck less probie when he saw the blood on my forehead, but not if he ever really knew what happened. Officer Kaylen Finn pistol whipped me because she thought I was a suspect, when I got back up we sparred. She was quick, but I knew how to use my weight against her. We fought for a bit before I saw the badge, after I let her go she threw me down and made to cuff me but I fought to tell her I was a federal agent. It worked though, and since that day Kaylen and I have been off and on. I never told my team about Kay, not even when we found out that we were going to have…oh god I can't believe you are going to find out about it this way Boss. We kept Asher quiet; he became my reason for being. I calmed down after Jean, but not really because of her. Asher was born a week later, and I knew that my lifestyle would have to change…"_

Those tired eyes spied the tape recorder with a new sense of fire; he fought to get up to throw off the paramedics that were working on him. Blue eyes found McGee's and there was a conversation held in that moment that wouldn't have been had any other way. McGee's hand went out to gently push Gibbs back down; a weary smile curled his lips and all he could say was, "I know." McGee turned, fingers curled around the tape recorder pressing the stop button the sound faded and sirens hit them for the first time.

"_I just guess that I never thought it would change like this, I don't even know if you all are still listening anymore. I probably would have given up a long time ago, but I can't keep going on like this. I only have so much fight in me and now that it feels like I'm suffocating I have to say goodbye. If you're listening Boss, guys, goodbye…"_


	10. Tell Me

**Part Ten: Tell Me**

"_You were the one that kept me grounded, kept me at NCIS even when I felt like running away. Every time something bad happened you made sure that I was taken care of. When I nearly died from y-pestis you were the one that kept me from the edge. You fought for me, beat it into me that I'd be alright. You let me recover, and you knew my limits better than I did. When Jeffrey nearly killed me in that car you were the one that understood, that saw what was happening to me. I only got to be there once for you, and even then I don't know if you wanted me to be there…"_

Those tired blue eyes were beginning to water, fingers gripping the tape recorder in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other. Gibbs swallowed, the autopsy results were in and the news didn't soothe Gibbs' restless spirit.

"_You didn't know us, but we knew even less about you, Boss. You'd kept us out of your life in so many ways, but we couldn't let you go. The man you let us know, the man that kept us together…you'd suffered so much and yet you cared for us; your band of renegades, failures, and geniuses. You didn't want to let us go, and so when it came back, and you came back to us it was our moment to actually felt like we made you proud…"_

The tape recorder dragged on, but Gibbs couldn't listen to it any more. His eyes were full. A hand rose and wiped away the wetness there. Weary eyes stared at the wetness on his hand; the other one still held the bottle and in the last moment of staring at that wetness the bottle was chucked against the distant wall. "Why could you never believe that you weren't a letdown? Damn it DiNozzo! You were the one that kept me grounded, you learned and grew.

You survived when you shouldn't have. You taught me how to care again, and that was something that made you special. You know how many agents I went through? Not letting them in at all, being the mystery that you figured out so quickly…you were the first that actually wanted to push past the obvious. You needed to, to fulfill something I guess…that's why I couldn't turn my back on you when you needed it.

When we thought…hell, when I thought we'd lost you to those bastards…to that madman…I never wanted to finish something so much before. Never wanted to find someone and just slit their throat. Bleed them out and make them suffer like they made you suffer, I would have been locked up a long time ago if you hadn't kept me sane Tony. You made me proud nearly every day, you were ruthless at times and ridiculous at most others but you were never a letdown. I was proud to have you on my team, to train you and call you my second in command. Tony, if I'd had a son, I'd have hoped you 'd be the man he'd grow into."

"_Boss, I know I never said it and I know I probably never needed to but you were the closest and the best thing to a father I ever had or ever wanted. You were my safe harbor, my comfort blanket, and my motivator all wrapped in one. You knew tough love better than anyone, but you knew how to actually show love. It was nice; it made my existence seem worthwhile for something. I enjoyed the years I spent at NCIS, I wish I had more of them left but I know it wasn't worthless. It most definitely was worth something in the end. I wish I could tell you half the things I want to but I doubt I have that much time left."_

"You didn't have to Tony…I knew…"


	11. What You See

**Part Eleven: What You See**

"_I saved them, every single one of them…I thought one day you might want them. You might actually want to see what you meant to others."_

When the order came in to clean out DiNozzo's desk there was only one person that was allowed to do it, he would have shot anyone else who wanted to risk it. The first few drawers went as planned: a little black book or two (or seven), a few miscellaneous pads of paper with notes and numbers written on them, the usual office supplies, and daily Tony necessities (spare shirts, razor, deodorant, and even a pair of pants). But when Gibbs found the locked drawer, the only one in the whole desk, he was more than surprised to what he found.

His eyes fell on medals, awards, certificates…that he'd earned throughout his career since Tony started at NCIS. Shaky fingers found the first one, his most recent award for bravery or what not. Opening the box, tracing the medal, he lowered into Tony's chair. There was a considering gesture as he tossed the medal onto the desk. Tony had kept all of them, everyone, probably accepted them to but why?

McGee watched him, it wasn't hard to notice after all from where he was sitting, "Boss?"

"Why? I don't understand…"

"He knew Boss."

"Knew what?"

"That one day, for some reason, you'd find them and you'd want to hold onto them."

"How could he know that? How could he know any of these things?"

"You made the difference in his life, in all of our lives. He knew that one day, when you needed to know yourself the most, you'd find them. You'd need them."

"_You may not understand it at first, but they are waiting for you when you need it the most. It's the best way I can help you now, it's the best way that I can connect to you…keep them or don't keep them. You'll know what you need Boss."_

He smiled; it was the first time in days that he'd even cracked something close to one. McGee joined him, and for a brief moment it was like there was life back in the bullpen. They heard the hum of voices, the buzz of lights, the ring of phones, and the soft tone of the elevator beep. But of all the things they heard, they didn't hear the sad voice of Tony or the quietness of their own sadness. For the first time in weeks, they only heard life, unhindered and uninterrupted.

Hope sprung into their hearts of the two men, but in the grand scheme of things two small smiles didn't mean a whole lot. But for that moment, in that place, those smiles meant something far greater than most could imagine.

"_When you all are ready, you'll be expected to move on. You'll be expected to grow and get better. To bring to light the last pieces of life you have in you, don't worry. It is natural, we all have to pick up the pieces, we all have to move on at some point. Don't be afraid to, don't wish you won't move one because if you don't…you'll break and I can't handle that on my spirit or conscious or whatever you want to call it. Don't forget, but please move on, find someone to replace me in your life; not in your hearts, but in your life. Find the laugh, the smile, the things you'll lose when you find out I'm gone. We've all lost so much in the last few years You'd think we'd be martyrs by now."_

Laughter. Laughter caught the attention of those in the bullpen. Laughter had seemed outlawed, or dead since the word of DiNozzo's death had found them. But as true, laughter, rung out over the bullpen most people stopped and looked back on the half empty office space of Gibbs' team. Jenny had been talking to someone on the stairs, but as the merry laughter hit her she turned to look down at the two men. Her face was pale; everyone had been affected by this but to hear laughter? It was a shock. When she saw them, she couldn't help but smile. Weak and unused muscles were pulled into action; her hands gripping the railing like the three of them were gripping that tape recorder. It was the last thing they had of him, but it provided so much for them to hold onto.

"_You'll learn to smile again; slowly yeah I'd hope I meant more to you all than a passing grin or two. You'll learn to laugh again. That will come first; it is easier to laugh at nonsense than to really smile at something. You'll stop one day, and just roll with laughter. A saying, a quirk, something will brighten your day and that will be the legacy I leave behind. Asher is just a piece of my life, he'll never really remember who I was or what I did. But you guys, you'll remember me as the person that lightened up some part of your life."_


	12. Slice of the Pie

**Part Twelve: Slice of the Pie**

"…_Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen *anything* to make me believe that there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything.'Cause no mystical energy field controls *my* destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense…"_

McGee's eyes were tired, but his fingers moved restlessly across the keyboard. He was reviewing the footage of A New Hope over and over again looking for anything, a clue anything that Tony could have left them. His eyes were starting to close which caused his fingers to slip, the scene played again and as McGee's head hit the keyboard something amazing happened. He had a thought completely and totally abstracted from what was going on now.

"That's it!" He flew from the chair, tripping in the process which jarred Ducky awake in Ziva's little cubicle.

"Wha? What is it McGee? Are you alright?" He was just starting to get moving when McGee toned in gasping with effort as he tried to heft himself up.

"Tony wasn't trying to get a message through from the movie, it's the dialogue itself! He's talking about his captors! He's saying that they aren't just everyday thugs, they're someone in authority in a position that can control others."

"And where did you surface with this conclusion McGee?" Gibbs chimed in as he came around the corner, three cups of coffee resting on a drink carrier.

"I don't know boss, it just…feels right."

"That's not enough McGee."

"Boss…it is for you…"

"Not on this one, not with this victim."

"Tony."

"V-I-C-T-I-M."

"No Gibbs, Tony. He has a name, he's Anthony DiNozzo. He has a position, Special Agent for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. He has a family, a life, right here. His desk sits…"

"ENOUGH McGee!"

"Gibbs, he's right."

"Enough, just…enough…" Gibbs' hands slammed down on his desk and the little red light on the tape recorder clicked on. The sound of blank tape registered in the back of their minds but it didn't break into their conversation just yet.

"Boss…we all know it's hard but we can't shake what this is. What he is, he's the victim. Tony, our Tony."

"You've spent too much time with Abs."

"_It doesn't make any sense to me, Boss. It's like they need me, but they don't need me at all. This guy came in a suit today, he didn't think I saw him but he was in one of those cheapie suits that looks close enough to the real deal that they get away with it. He had a bulge at his left ankle, another one on his right side under his suit jacket, and he definitely stood like a cop. He didn't have the swagger like a leo though, I dunno maybe I'm reading too much into it…"_

"Cop?"

"_I was surprised too, I mean seriously? What would a cop care about my life, about any of this business with Ziva. My only thought went to that business with…"_

"Ari."

"_There was so much unresolved with the leos, so much that they didn't understand and never will. But Fornell was called in for that case…"_

"Damn it! McGee get Tobias on the phone." Gibbs was now furiously typing at his keyboard as he pulled up his information on Ari and the rest of the surrounding issues with that case. With Kate, with Ziva…with Tony.

"Boss, I got him."

"Tell him I need to speak to him in my office."

"Agent Fornell, Gibbs says…right. How long? Fifteen minutes, good." He hung up the phone mouth opening to repeat what he'd just been told only to get silenced.

"…_I wonder if that wasn't a leo. I mean the leos don't really have a beef with me. Could it be FBI related? Wouldn't that be a slice out of the normalcy pie."_


	13. Lethal Weapon

**Part Thirteen: Lethal Weapon**

"_I saw this movie once; I think it was some cop thing, something about a white cop gone crazy after his wife's murder and an older black cop that becomes his partner as he sets out to retire. There is a line that applies to this situation I guess, "_I don't make things difficult. That's the way they get, all by themselves._" I can agree with that, especially now. I don't know what's going on, I don't even know who or what took me. All I know is that they gave me this tape recorder, and I can only assume it's to say my last words into it, so if that's true why do they look so eager for me to talk? I guess it's time for me to say my goodbyes? I suppose it's time to admit that I have problems, time to let go of all the regrets I may have had but this doesn't feel final this feels like a beginning, like something major is going to happen and I have to be the witness in order to share this story. I can tell you this; they are an interesting bunch these people. Sort of Mr. Joshua-esk but there is some sort of Turkish thing going on, no mix that I think I could have pissed off, but with the years I've had of being able to piss people off you never know. I know that this arm of mine hurts; I know that they want whatever they want and that I have to fight to make sure they don't kill me quickly. This is going to be a long journey home, but I am holding onto the thought that I'll be going home after this. No matter which way I get there, home is the only thing I have to hope for unless I can figure this out for you."_

The video played on the monitor in the bullpen, McGee's finger ran across the fast forward until he found the torture scene he was looking for. A splash of water was flung at a half naked Mel Gibson and that's when McGee decided to press play. Sponges hooked up to a battery sent bolts of electricity along his body and the one inflicting the torture was moving them around. "I think this is how those odd burn patterns on his body were inflicted. It makes sense, and Tony practically told us in his own words. I was just slow in seeing it."

"Well damn McGee, good thing he's dead then huh?"

"Boss…"

"Jethro, that's cruel."

"Jenny this doesn't concern…"

"Finish that thought." Her eyes were narrowed and there was only a minor threat in her voice. But it was obvious that she meant business, that if he finished that statement there would be more than her office coming down on him.

"Director, this is my fault I didn't get it in time. I'm better than this."

"I know you are McGee, so does Jethro, but this case isn't easy for any of you. Especially the two of you, you are all that's left and that isn't easy." Her hand brushed Gibbs' face, a finger trailing down his cheek as he pulled away. "You can't be expected to work at full speed; you can't be expected to do this alone. That's why you have help now, you've contacted Tobias and he's bringing in his own team to sort of take the reins and ease it off of you all. You need rest; you need fresh eyes to give this case everything you have. Do it for yourselves, but more importantly do it for your teammates."

It was as if her words conjured up Tobias, the elevator bell dinged and he walked out of it into the bullpen. There was a group of young looking people, one that Gibbs had met before but couldn't place and then others that just didn't ring a bell. One looked distinctly Germanic the others were your average joes nothing stood out. They had average brown hair, average brown eyes, average white skin complexion, and were of average build. They were so average that they'd be looked over in any crowd if it wasn't for their accents. They seemed almost Middle Eastern in their accent but were most notably American in look.

Jenny smiled at them, snaking her hands around Tobias in a hug as the man approached. It didn't take long for Fornell to notice the absence of life in Gibbs' eyes. There was definitely something different and it made a part of him ache to rebuild the broken man. Tobias signaled for the familiar looking agent to start to set up. He gathered the gear they'd brought and gestured to the others, who as of yet had spoken much more than a few words, and headed off to one of the conference rooms on the upper deck.

"Gibbs, I see there are no niceties with this meeting." Gibbs glared at him, ice blue eyes cold with more than just determination.

"No, not really Tobias. I wouldn't have called if it wasn't for Tony suggesting it."

"Tony?"

"McGee, acquaint Agent Fornell with how Tony talks to us now while I go get some coffee."

"_You know that Enya song? Only Time I think is the title, but anyway, one part of it is "Who Can Say Where The Road Goes? It is a beautiful song if you can find it without the radio version, but so depressing. But anyway, I guess that now, in the moments that I have left I can only think of that song…those words and the truth behind them. Who really gets the chance to say or determine all those things? I know that we only play a minor part in determining it but what role do we play in the whole thing? These tapes are playing a role in my discovery, in the act of you finding or rescuing me. But who made them decide to do the tapes? Who put this whole thing in motion? I don't just mean the little guy either, I mean the big guy. I suppose if I believed in a force greater than myself I'd say god but I don't really believe in one Supreme Being. It never made sense to me how a god could be so cruel and so loving at the same time. People, who were created in his image, do not have so easy a descriptor. They aren't one or the other, they are everything and anything in between and then nothing at all, all wrapped up into one. There really isn't a reason that I'm bringing up all this I guess it just happens to be one of those random thoughts that passes through your mind when you know the…"_

"This is all? The ramblings of a prisoner is all you used to bring us here?" The familiar looking agent retorted with his arms folded behind his head.

"Quiet Stephan, you don't understand the situation or the men involved."

"Yeah I do, the situation is his foolish ass got himself captured and let himself ramble on when he could be dishing out important information that could actually help him."

"Young man, you say another word about our Anthony and I might just have to bring out my scalpel prematurely." Ducky had been walking passed the door on his way to speak to the director when the voices caught his attention; specifically that of Tony.

"_There just isn't time to apologize for all the things I've done wrong in my life, and there definitely isn't enough time to do it while living. Humans are foolish creatures, we do foolish things, but the ones that are the most foolish are those that are too arrogant to understand that they are giving themselves away. They have one fleeting moment to get it right, but the fools that we can't hold onto it anymore and they just slip right off that edge. They can't help themselves, it just sort of happens to them. I don't mind it when they do, but you have to really listen to hear it. Have to really know the situation, the ground plan for the whole presentation. Until then, you don't have a thing. But, here I am again just rambling on with my own musings and not helping anyone out."_


	14. Damsel In Distress

**Part Fourteen: Damsel in Distress**

"_I know things are supposed to get easier, I know they are but sometimes it doesn't make any sense until the books almost closed. It happens in the last chapter of a great novel, you find out that key piece of information that shows it to be what really mattered the whole time. That everything you've needed is right in front of you from page one, you just didn't want to see it._

McGee had been going through Tony's case files for days; they'd taken Gibbs into custody now for sure as a potential murder suspect and for assaulting a federal agent. As a result McGee had been all but cast out by his co-workers. He was either one of the conspiracy, in their eyes, or the only one living that didn't have anything to do with it. He sighed; quiet was really starting to unnerve him.

After the tape that Tony had mentioned Asher and Kaylen he'd been looking for anything from the first days of Tony's career at NCIS that could put him in a situation with local leos, but nothing came up. And even then after he cross checked the locations law enforcement officer records he didn't come up with any "Kaylen" in the system. He was thoroughly confused and that was starting to wear on him much like the silence was.

"Timothy?" McGee jumped, fingers tightening across the grip of his gun before his mind registered whose voice it was. He let out an audible sigh again, and retreated his hand. "Timothy…were you going to shoot me just now?"

"Sorry Ducky, I'm a little jumpy."

"I can see that, I came to keep you company. I figured that you might need some, but I didn't think it was getting to you quite like this."

"I didn't either Duck." He wondered for a minute about the situation then turned in his chair to face Ducky, "I have a question for you, you knew Tony a lot better and a lot longer than I did. If he was having a long standing relationship with someone and…"

"…he had a child."

"He'd let us know right?"

"I believe Anthony would have eventually yes, he always had family problems but everyone knew that. But if he was serious about someone, and had a child with them then I believe that he would introduce them to us."

"So, do you think that this is really true? I mean, giving Tony and his personality, could this really be the truth?"

"To be honest, no, if anyone would know; Anthony would have told Jethro and the reaction that you described would not have happened if he had an idea about it."

"So what could it be?"

"I don't know Timothy, I honestly don't know but I do know that Anthony has given you clues along the way. I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out, you're a wonderful agent young man; don't doubt that." Ducky smiled warmly, kneading Tim's shoulder before he started to pull away. "I have two autopsies to finish but I'll be back up in a little while Timothy."

"Thanks Duck." McGee smiled and then returned to running through the files. He'd now gone through all of his probationary cases and was moving on to the cases that he was more familiar with, starting with the death of Kate.

Tired eyes were scanning the pages before him, examining case files, autopsy reports, everything. He sighed; the pictures of Kate's death were bringing back memories. He leaned back folding his hands behind his head as he stared at her name, her picture, and her files. Something clicked in his head; he launched himself towards the files, fingers brushing through them to the names of the involved officers. He remembered something, grabbing the files he ran upstairs, running past the secretary right into the director's office. "I've got something!"

"_I guess that is what keeps us coming back for more, keeps us revisiting the past and looking to make sure it is better in the future. That's why I know when the book is closed on this case, on me, you won't forget about it and you'll be able to piece it together easy enough. I hope anyway, sometimes we humans are a little slow."_


	15. The Valley

**Part Fifteen: The Valley**

"_Evil is so hard to spot, Gibbs does a great job though. He's like one of the few human evil spotters around. That's why I'm glad he works for the good guys. Could you imagine if he was a bad guy? We'd be so screwed it wouldn't even be funny. I've never doubted that if evil lurked among us that Gibbs wouldn't be able to find them, that's what has kept us safe for so long I think. Kate was a fluke, Gibbs never made that mistake again. He took it personal, it affected him just like it affected all of us. I know that as a family we're unstopable hopefully you all are just as unstopable with your new family. With the people who will come and step into the places behind our desks, who will come in and refill your lives with laughter and good memories. They won't be better people, and they can't replace us but they're different. Ziva was different for me, but she was something that I needed. She grouned me after Kate's death, and I think the effect on all of us was just as good. We were hurting, she was hurting and in the years we've worked together we've grown past our hurts and into a strong team. A strong family."_

Tobias walked into NCIS with his team and settled into the conference room they'd taken over, once his team was back to work he made his way upstairs popping in to catch McGee excitedly explaining what he'd found to Jenny. He folded his arms across his chest and listened for a few moments before clearing his throat. "I hope you don't mind the intrusion, but that is an interesting story you have McGee. Mind telling it to me?"

One of Jenny's hands settled on Tim's shoulder and she inclined her head to the seat opposite her on the other side of the desk. "In good time Agent Fornell, but for now I'd like to speak with you about matters concerning your team. Would you terribly mind sitting down with me and Agent McGee here?"

He was skeptical on this tactic, his arms folded across his chest and for a moment he simply watched the two of the interact. Moving slowly he'd take a seat across the desk from the director and on the opposite side of McGee. He settled in and squared his features, even in silence he knew how to make sure he was at least slightly intimidating. His eyes went cold and the best look of pure business was locked into place, this wasn't going to be a good meeting. He knew that much already.

"Very good, Tim can you please tell Agent Fornell the case history from day one until now."

"Yes, Ma'am. Well, the case started on November 22nd, 2007. The victim was taken hostage after exiting the NCIS headquarters and moving to the garage, the best knowledge of his whereabouts until his body was found was that he was in some storage facility or warehouse. He left the HQ to go and get some pizza since he and his team leader, one Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, had been working late on the holiday. From the forensics gathered it appeared that Agent DiNozzo had been hit over the head with some sort of blunt object. Blood was gathered on the inside of the door; inside the car his credentials and gun were found."

"Yes, McGee I know that much." Tobias was impatient.

"Very well, then you know that a few weeks afterwards we started receiving phone calls from an unknown suspect. The voice was digitally altered and didn't stay on longer than a few seconds, in which time he'd let us hear a snippet of Tony's voice. At that point we thought that it was actually DiNozzo we were hearing, but after finding the body and receiving the autopsy report we've found that the voice we heard was digitally recorded. It was produced by splicing the tapes together to get the words they wanted to share with us. The suspect obviously held a high level of intelligence and knew exactly what they'd need to do to keep us chasing them."

"Indeed, we've also come to that conclusion McGee. Director Shepherd this is a waste of time!"

"Tobias, wait." The voice echoed off the back wall, there was a shuffle of clothing and feet and from the shadows Gibbs stepped out. "Just listen to the kid."

"Jethro? You're supposed to be in custody, Director Shepherd?!"

"Tobias, just wait." Gibbs echoed again before leaning back against the wall.

"We received tips then from local law enforcement of some odd activity at a warehouse outside of Leesburg. We decided to investigate this tip; we arrived at the warehouse to find a generator still pumping and it completely empty. There was no sign of DiNozzo to be found anywhere so we decided to canvas the area. Thanks to Agent Ziva David we were able to track some tire marks into the Banshee Reeks Nature Preserve. We hit a dead end and circled back, without any other leads they decided to cheek into DiNozzo's apartment. It was there that Ziva was killed. Until now, we had no leads on her death. Shortly after that the tapes started showing up. They were disorganized at best and didn't seem to follow a chronological order. Some of them had actual speeches from DiNozzo but others were full of just noise and ramblings that didn't make sense with Tony's character."

"I wasn't aware of that."

"We edited the portions together that made sense, and that were what we called "Tony." They do seem to be the actual words of Tony and the spread of time would be about two weeks worth of recording, it makes sense to be honest with the autopsy report. Tony would have been killed shortly after that. So, whoever kept this case "alive" had to be someone who wanted to destroy everyone, or at least specific some bodies."

"That is what McGee has figured out something that we weren't supposed to figure out. Tobias, do you understand yet?"

"There were specific targets, but if that's the case why didn't they attack McGee?"

"They did." Tobias turned quickly to look at the young agent and so did Jenny, both seemed surprised but Gibbs didn't change his expression. "They attacked me in the only way that kept them from further bloodying their hands; they attacked me by attacking everyone else. By destroying the team, Boss all of us were the targets and they knew what would bring us each down."

"Good job McGee, do you see now Tobias?"

"I'm afraid I still don't understand what all of this was about."

"Agent Fornell, what my agents are trying to tell you is that the murderers lie within your grasp." Jen's fingers grabbed a file and she handed it over the table to him. "Everything you need is there, the link between your team and these deaths and your team's interest in my team."

"Are you saying that FBI agents are your suspects? I'd suggest you rethink that Director Shepherd; these men have been in the agency for years. Hell, I trained Stephen myself! He's one of the best agents to come out of the academy in years and furthermore…"

"Easy Tobias, please just hear me out."

"Jethro, I should be arresting you instead of listening to you right now. As for the rest of you, I'm through with this." Tobias said as he pushed the chair from beneath him, sending it further than he expected and directly at Gibbs. Gibbs stared at the man for a moment before the sound of the door creaking caught all of their attentions.

Cynthia peeked through the open doors before she opened them the rest of the way, "Director…"

"Yes Cynthia? I hope it is important, interrupting a meeting like this is not the proper way to conduct yourself."

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but Agent Anderson insisted actually he was very persuasive…" Cynthia tilted her head back over her shoulder which actually drew their attention to the man behind her. Well actually, men, behind her. Gibbs immediately noticed the fire power, at least two M-16 assault rifles and a very impressive looking Sig pointed directly at Cynthia's head.

The reactions around the room varied between every person involved. McGee looked dumbfounded, his face paled and he reached for his gun but before he could get it unfastened a shot rang out. Cynthia was thrown off to the side and the chair McGee was in sported a new hole in it.

Tobias jumped at the shot, gripping down on his weapon and pulling it. Fire was exchanged between him and his men. The bark of gun fire exchanged deafened the room. Tobias fell to a knee as the two in the back opened up with their M-16s. He felt the white hot burn of a gunshot in his shoulder only to be thrown back by one to his chest, before he could hit the ground he took one to the knee and cried out. With a flop he curled off to the side and lay unmoving.

Gibbs drew his gun the moment that he recognized the look in Cynthia's face, he pulled it up at the moment he saw her in motion. Opening fire without discrimination he clipped Stephan on the left arm, the bullet lodged depressingly enough in the desk behind the group of people. He got one more off before he felt the sting of a bullet graze the right side of his head, he groaned and was thrown back against the wall. In seconds he was down, his gun tossed to the far side and his fingers reaching towards it unsuccessfully.

McGee pulled up gun firing off and taking Mr. Scenery out at the knee cap. The man let out a pained cry collapsing down to his bad knee, the automatic in his hand fired off before his shoulder got taken out by another shot from McGee. Stephan had taken behind the door and was firing off at McGee who to this point was still out in the open, one shot nicked his gun hand and he withdrew behind Jenny's desk. Shaking out his hand he listened to the exchange of gun fire happened between Jenny and the remaining shooters.

Jenny had dropped down behind her desk almost immediately after the first shot had been fired, she pulled her weapon out of the drawer and readied herself for this new fire fight. When McGee came behind the desk wounded she shifted closer to him, getting the information she needed she pulled out and popped up taking a shot at the door where the other unnecessarily boring looking man was. She double taped him to the heart, and dropped down. She didn't see Stephan, so she popped up again to see Fornell and Gibbs.

When she popped up she caught movement out of the corner of her eye and twisted, firing blind wasn't the preferred method in tactical situations but she felt it necessary. She heard a cry, distinctly female and saw the body of Cynthia collapse to the floor shot to the throat. Her eyes widened and she made to move towards her secretary before she was caught in the abdomen by a bullet.

Stephan had forgotten about McGee and as soon as Jenny had gotten hit he opened fire on the man. He had maybe eight rounds left, and each one was chambered and fired into Stephan. McGee had gone passed just a gun fight, he'd pushed into the realm of malice and he wasn't taking it any more. He pushed up off the floor on the balls of his feet; the gun fire had brought the majority of the bullpen up the stairs in a hurry and as they burst into the room he popped up with an, "All clear!"

It was a mirage of movement, agents moved around checking pulses on everyone. A few people were making necessary phone calls. But in the haze of movement McGee just stood there, his eyes had transformed from soft and kind to cold, hard, and unfocused. His mind was racing as fast as those people moved around the room but they were clear and sharp unlike the images in front of him.

"_Sometimes things move so fast that you just have to stop and take in what has happened. You may never get the whole picture that way, but at least you catch more than you would if you didn't see anything at all but the details. Sometimes the scenery is what matters, you never really notice it but it serves its purpose. In its flatness you find the most interesting details, the lack of detail itself. In the moments where you see everything you have to take in the nothing, you have to shut yourself off and lock away the parts of you that interfere. That's how you solve anything, and that is definitely where you'll find out things about yourself that you didn't even know. The nicest person in the world can be a cold hard killer when they retrospect enough. It just makes you realize that we are situational beings and that no matter what we don't know enough about ourselves."_


	16. Snapshots In Time

**Part Sixteen: Snapshots in Time**

"_I've finally remembered, I couldn't do anything right Boss, not on a timeline at least. I finally remembered…I finally…" _The tape trailed off.

The funeral of Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo came and went with the typical signs of death. People gathered from the span of Tony's life, many of which he hadn't spoken to in years. Cars lined the one way road inside the cemetery; his body was laid to rest beneath the branches of a mighty maple on the shallow side of a hill. The sun shone into the eyes of the mourners, cutting at their pain by blinding them from the sight of the lowering casket.

Gibbs was supported on a single crutch though it looked like he needed to be in a wheel chair. His eyes were down cast, not even raised high enough to view the casket as it was lowered. The family that Tony had chosen was surrounding the grave, those that remained and those that had left years before. Blackadder, who hadn't lasted long in the team, stood in the furthest row next to a few JAG officers that the team had become acquainted with in the past.

Tony's biological family had been informed, and only his mother had anything to say about the burial of her son. She didn't show though, and none of the family members offered up to pay for the service. It was public knowledge that an anonymous donor had paid for it in full. Speculation was left to a few sold boats over the years that had more than doubled in value since their building.

Jenny was still hospitalized, but she was recovering nicely. It was a beautiful day even in a cemetery, but the crew around this grave was readying for their next a few rows over and to the right. Agent Tobias Fornell was readied to be lowered into the ground, Tobias had fought hard but didn't survive surgery. In the year since Tony's disappearance they'd lost two NCIS agents and an entire team of FBI agents even though three of them had been involved in the murders they were what they were.

Somewhere in the back of Gibbs mind a single paragraph of tape played back in his head and he nearly chuckled over the grave.

"_I can only hope that my words helped you guys helped you figure it out for yourselves. I hope that they also help you in the future; I've tried to be as witty and plucky as possible. I haven't had long though, so don't expect greatness, but I'm trying. Anyway, since this last part will probably be skipped for various reasons, like the fact that those JERKS took away the tape a few hours ago and that I've had it sitting on record for a while with no apparent reason. Anyway, I guess I should sign this campfire out right? How do you say it's been a great case? Especially when you are the case? The victim! Ha, they never covered that in training school..."_


End file.
